Only You by Anonymous

A person can make you feel high,

A person can make you feel low.

But only you can decide,

Which way you want to go.

A person can hurt you mentally,

A person can hurt you physically.

But only you can place,

A limit on your abilities.

A person can cause drama,

A person can cause a situation.

But only you can create,

Your own reputation.

A person can make you laugh,

A person can make you cry.

But only you can make,

Decisions for your life.

I guess what I'm trying to say,

That when you're living day to day.

Don't live by what people do,

But live by what you know is true.

These Insights I Have Gained In The School Life...

My school life has been full of insights that has taught me more about life in general. For instance, through school I learned that gossip hurts the ones' they love, everyone and never helps, love can be found in your friends, the world moves quickly, prayer is a great way to relieve stress, Jesus Christ is always present, and one tends to hurt

Me at a convention. It symbolizes life moving too fast and how everything becomes a blur and nothing is truly seen. (really my mom did not know how to work the camera)

I learned how gossip hurts by being at the other end of it all. What I mean is in my life at high school rumors have been spread about me that are not true. But seeing how all of the gossip said between friends grow and become more and more incorrect has shown me how in an instant one small thing can affect another's life. The reason I was so self-conscious was due to gossip that was said about me behind my back. Of course it was through these time that my friends' love shined on me. They showed me that they did not care what others were saying about me because they knew the real me. My friends have always shown support for me and have always been there when I needed someone to comfort me.

Friends and me after a mud fight and a flag football game.


Wesley and me. He's basically my brother!

This love portrayed through friends though is also another lesson that I learned that was not easy to take in. There were some times in my life where I hurt the ones I loved; my family and my friends. I do not really know why I would hurt them but every now and then I would. Sometimes it was on purpose, but sometimes it was on accident and they got hurt because they misinterpreted what I was saying.

My sisters, cousins, and I on Christmas.

Going to a private high school I learned a lot more about God. One thing is I learned how to pray better, which made me realize how relaxing prayer is and how good I feel after I have prayed. I would use prayer whenever my life got tough, whether that be in my family or school related, in order to relieve my stress and calm myself down. Through this process I also learned how Jesus is ever present and can be found in almost anything I do. Going to a private school has really helped me grow closer with my relationship with God.

These Risks I Took...

Wooden swinging bridge out to Lover's Leap

I have not taken all too many risks in my lifetime. But I have for sure taken a few. One is to act myself around everyone. I hate it when people pretend to be somebody they are not and I do not want to be a person that I would hate. Some might not say this is a risk, but in reality, to express yourself is the greatest risk of all. Society and the media have created a certain way people should act and have shown that any other way would be different. Well, no one wants to be different; we all just want to blend in rather than stick out. I do not necessarily like to stick out but I also do not like to blend in. I want to be me and no one else, so I try to show the real me to everyone I meet, and I do not care anymore about what people think. In the end the person has to like me for being me not someone else. I also tend to take a risk when I start pushing myself too hard. I always tell myself that I can to do better than what I am. In doing this I get overwhelmed and everything just piles on top of me. The risk of the matter is, that all the things I keep trying to do and do better could end up crushing me and I would not be able to do any of it anymore. When I am pushing myself too hard I feel like a wooden swinging bridge. I become completely shaky and feel like I could come crashing down at any moment. Sometimes I would feel like I was completely squeezed, but had to be because it was the only way to move on.

Me and my sister squeezing through the rocks to continue on the path. It was the only way!

These Are My Unfulfilled Desires...

I do not have too many unfulfilled desires. One thing I greatly desire is a family of my own. I want little ones that run around and play all types of sports. I want a husband who is there for the family always and loves me and the kids. I have always wanted a family I could start.

My other unfulfilled desire is to become a professional dancer/choreographer. I want to be on So You Think You Can Dance and then some day open my own dance studio with my sister. I have no idea if I would ever make it that far but I hope. Dance is one of my largest passion. I use it to express myself and what I am feeling. There have been plenty circumstances where I feel like I have shown the audience what I wanted to portray and those moments I treasure greatly. I walk off the stage feeling great and completely relaxed and happy.

The following are parts of my dance audition tape:

Part of Ballet


Baby Routine



Stay Routine

These Things I Have Lived For...

Top of Beacon Rock!

I have lived for a lot of things in my life. Without my friends, family, Jesus, and community service I would never had made it as far as I have. I love helping others whenever I can. Even when I am completely overwhelmed with other things, I find that helping others relaxes me and helps me become less stressed out. Helping out for me includes community service, like working as a camp counselor at Camp Thunderbird, and just helping out anyone else. I tutor several people in school and also substitute for my dance teachers whenever they are sick or cannot make it in. Sometimes the substituting can be up to 6 hours a week, especially when it gets colder and people start getting sick. I also like helping people because it makes others happy and I also live for that. It is my goal to make others happy, not just myself. I also live for others when we have to work together to get somewhere. Like on pilgrimage when we all had to hike as a class. It was a chance to build a community within the class of 2010.

Besties!

My family and Jesus fall into the same group, partially because they have been together for my entire life. My parents introduced me to Jesus and His love and while doing that they also showed me their love for me. My parents have sacrificed so much for me so I believe it is my goal to repay them as best as I can. This is also similar to Jesus. He died in order for my sins to be forgiven so I owe Him by following Him with His faith and living a life modeled off of Him. Jesus is my role model and as cheesy as this sounds I often ask myself the question "What would Jesus do?".

Quilt my mom made, Photo by me!

My friends are my biggest support group. I cannot begin to explain everything they have done for me. I live for them and try to be there for them when ever they need me. They mean the world to me and whenever we hang out I feel visible. They make me happy so I live to make them happy as well. This means congratulating them even when I do not achieve as much as they do.

Taste the Rainbow! Homecoming week: Candyland theme

Group of friends! Senior Jumpsuits

Mrs. Egland's Senior Composition Class/PJ day

Mrs. Hiles CP Toga Girls: aka Family

These Scripture Texts Have Lit My Path...

Taken by me at the Tulip Festival

Every night I read a different verse in the Bible. It has truly been one of my greatest lifesavers. The Bible is full of great scripture but there are several that I have kept close to my heart more than others.

One that got me through all my struggles was Philippians 4:13. It reads "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". This scripture taught me that my faith is the strongest thing I can have in my life. Whenever I lose it, I am sure to be lost as well. It shows that no matter what, if I believe in Christ I will have the strength to overcome whatever I face.

Another verse that I have lived by has taught me what love is. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". Reading this verse has reassured me that love is a great thing. 1 Corinthians 13: 13 states, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love". I feel love can help conquer anything and without it in one's life, their life would not be worth living.

When dealing with self-image problems I turned to the Bible for answers that no one else would tell me. I immediately was able to find the verse 1 Peter 3: 3-4. It read, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight". My eyes instantly had tears in them. I had been waiting for an answer like this for what seemed a lifetime. I had heard it from others, like my friends, but it is different when you find them out on your own as well. I realized then and there that I was beautiful because God created me, not because of what I looked like physically, but from what I looked like on the inside as well. This scripture helped me wake up every morning and get out of bed and face another day.

All these verses have really and truly helped light my path.

These Lessons Life Has Taught Me...

Best Friends

Life has taught me a numerous amount of lessons. Some have been hard to take in and absorb and some have been easy, but I still indeed learned them. One huge one that was a relief was that no one is perfect. Seeing all the people in the media one believes that they must look and act like those people. I learned however that this is not true. The people that are portrayed on television and in magazines make mistakes, it is part of every ones' nature to make mistakes. It was a huge relief to me to learn this lesson because I thrived to be perfect. In my desire to be perfect I also learned another very important lesson. All my life I was an extreme introvert. I kept everything bottled up inside. This, of course, worked against me. I eventually would get so emotional on the inside that something as simple as not getting the key to unlock my truck would cause me to cry. I learned that I have all my friends that can help me get through any struggles I was having and that when I let things out I do not get so worked up over them all. This also led to another lesson; a true friend doubles the joy and divides the pain.

Dance Friends

When I got exciting news my friends were always there to congratulate me and celebrate with me. But they were also there for all my pain that I suffered. They helped me cope and recover back to my old self.

They taught me so much!

More lessons I have learned have been to cherish the little things in life because one day they will out weigh the bigger things. For example, after my grandma dying I cherish all those memories I have weeding her garden, even though at the time, I would whine about having to do it. I remember those memories more than the memories of her getting me any huge gift or anything big we did together.

All us kids! My brother was buried out of love!

Also I have learned that families are like old quilts although they tend to unravel at times each can be stitched back together with love. Part of my family fell apart last year. Not just my immediate family but also my close relatives. Seeing my aunt and uncle go through a nasty divorce was hard and seeing what it did to my cousins was even harder. I could not imagine what it was like, but they are all still close to both their parents. They showed me that even though their parents do not get along all that well it does not mean they are not family and the love they have each other have kept them together. Love will also keep families together.

These Things I Regret About My Life...

I have regretted several things during my life. One of the larger things has dealt with my parents. I wish I could say that I have a very close relationship with them both, but unfortunately I do not. I want to also say I am at least closer with one than the other, but again that is not the case. My parents and I do not cross paths very much. We are all always out of the house doing something and that does not leave very much time to just talk. When I was younger I remember telling my parents everything, so I am not sure where exactly

things started to change. I do regret growing away from my parents and I wish we were as close as we were back

then.

I have also regretted not taking all that many risks. I have taken risks, but most of the time I play it safe. If someone asks me to do something I feel is out of my comfort zone I do not do it. Which then means that I never really grow in who I am because I am afraid of what might happen. I have played it safe almost my entire life and wish I could go back and take more risks.

These Sufferings Have Seasoned Me...

My life has been full of ups and downs. My first struggle I remember facing was one that hit, not just me, but my family. I am sure I had plenty of struggles before this one, but this is the one I remember the clearest. It happened to my grandmother at the age of 60.

My grandma a couple months before she passed.

She was diagnosed with brain cancer and died my eighth grade year the day before my 14th birthday. I had an extremely hard time dealing with this death. Me and my grandmother were very close. I still remember like it was yesterday helping her weed her beautiful garden.

My Grandma, me, and family at a baseball game.

Of course my suffering that year did not end with that. A couple months later my great-grandmother also passed away at the age of 82. I was not really that close with her, but I still had a hard time dealing with her death especially since it was so close to another. This all made me realize how fragile life is and how short it can be.

Great-grandma :)

Shortly after this insight, my grandfather, now a widower, got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This again hit me hard. I just got over two deaths and had no idea how I was gonna get through another one. Luckily, I never had to. Pancreatic cancer has a 1% survival rate and my grandpa was in that 1%. That year was painful for me and getting through it helped me become more alive. I now see the world differently because I in order to cope with my struggles I had to look at everything with a sense of kindness and love. I learned I should not be angry because in a second life can change.

My grandma, great-grandma, and grandpa at the last Thanksgiving all together!

Another struggle that I faced was within me. This one was extremely personal, but it has indeed seasoned me. I had very low self-esteem because of things people would say about me and how I looked. I there for would try and hide myself from everyone I knew and refused to do anything where people had to look closely at me. I also started to change my habits in hopes to loose weight. This of course just made things worse and I was unable to function very well. Luckily, I also grew from this. I learned that others will see me how I see me. So I must first love myself before I can let anyone else.

Religion has also been a huge struggle with me for a couple reasons. One is I am about to leave my home and head for college where I will be on my own. I have had to look at my religion and faith and ask myself if this is what I believe. Lately though, I have decided I love my Catholic faith and do not plan on leaving it anytime soon. The other thing that challenged my faith was my sister switching hers. At first I did not think her switching to Mormonism would affect me that much, but it most certainly has. Her moving religions has hurt my parents greatly and therefore has also hurt me. I cannot stand my parents upset and could not stand to see them cry every night over it all. My parents were trying to get me to realize how different the Catholic and Mormon faith was so I would not switch like my sister did. Unfortunately, all they did pushed me away from both religions and I lost my faith. I still turned to God, but then I was questioning whether I truly believe in Him or not.

Christmas Mass

Thankfully, my friends were able to help me find my faith again, and now it is stronger than it has ever been. This whole situation made me realize how much God is there with me every step of the way.


All these sufferings have seasoned me into who I am today and have helped me see the world from a different point of view.


xoxo Love

These Experiences I Have Cherished...

The occasional fights with my siblings I have always cherished. I do not pick fights with them on purpose nor do I particularly like fighting, though I do cherish these moments and the moments that follow. I love how no matter what we are fighting about we are able to act as if nothing happened about five minutes later. We all are able to forgive each other easily because we all know that under all our current anger we still love one another. I also treasure my family and how they are always there when I need them. All our family vacations and road trips across the country are memories I will have forever. I would never change one bit of them. I would not change the stops every couple hours to go to the bathroom or trying to find a motel for the night and then having to end up driving for an additional five hours. Even the time when we left Arches National Park when it was 109 degrees and went to a place two hours away where we showed up in shorts and tank tops walking on the street in 29 degrees and everyone else bundled up. My memories I have with my friends I also value. They are the memories where one of us is in need of a hug and we drive over to her house no matter how late to give her that hug and then do not leave until we know she is truly okay. All these memories I have fighting, hanging out with friends, and being with my family have lead me to where I am now. These moments I treasure and it is even better to know I experienced them with people I love.

xoxo Love

These Things I Have Loved In Life...

Throughout my life I have loved several things…I love looking out at a scenery that is full of life and colors. They all speak to me in a different way. All the little things in life, whether it is a deer or a small, little, colorful butterfly, open my eyes up to a world that is not all bad, but also good. Seeing how everything grows and how vines wrap around something else in order to grow taller, shows me how I am that vine and how so many people have supported me as I have continued to grow. I love the sound of laughter. Every time I hear it I am filled with happiness. With this happiness normally comes a smile. I love when I look at someone and they have a huge smile on their face, their eyes get squinty and bright, and they have that sparkle to them that proves they are truly happy. I love the touch of anything soft. A soft blanket or stuff animal allows me to feel comforted and secure. When I feel secure, I tend to loose myself in a dream. I also love the smell of flowers. As I take a deep breathe, I smile. They make me remember the people that have passed away, like my grandmother and great-grandmother. They both each had gardens full of flowers and my favorite memory of them is helping them with their gardens. The smell reminds me how cheerful and sweet they were and how much I miss them. I love all my friends and family that have always been there for me. They mean the world to me and I do not know what I would do with out them. I love dancing. It is my favorite thing to do because it allows me to express myself in ways that I cannot do with just words. My favorite dancing is dancing in the rain. This way I can feel a presence while I dance and if I happen to cry while dancing it does not show easily, but most of the time when I dance in the rain I feel happy. These are the things that I have truly loved in my life.

xoxo Love